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Why am I Single? (Part 2) A Dating Coach Explains

Here are several more of the most common reasons women are single… If you are single, ask yourself – do any of these apply to me?

1. Having a very narrow criteria about who they can love – some single women have a very narrow idea about the kind of man they can date and start a relationship with. Jane was only interested in dating actors and wouldn't even consider speaking to men who did not meet this criteria in social and dating situations. She was occasionally being introduced to actors by her friends in the industry, she would go on a date with them but they weren't usually looking for a relationship.

Sabrina's situation was that she was constantly rejecting men. She was super clear on what she was looking for…someone who was 6 foot 2 plus, dark, good looking, a rugby player type, with a very high salary. She earned a good income and one of her criteria was she wanted to date someone who earned more than her – only 5% of the population .

When your criteria is super high & specific your opportunities tend to be far more limited in number.

2. Alternatively some women aren't clear about what they want – and so keep going from relationship to relationship & without a clear idea not attracting the person that's right for them. Pauline came to see me because she was wanting to be in a relationship and yet the people she was dating often weren't available or were returning back to live abroad.

After we worked on what she wanted – someone who lived locally, was not planning to relocate and was single, she was able to start a longer lasting relationship. It's both helpful and important to have a clear idea of who you want to meet, without making it so specific that it's nearly impossible to find.

3. Having a narrow social circle & staying in your comfort zone – If most of your friends are married and you aren't meeting men at your work – i.e. some of the women I meet are in fashion and are working with a lot of other women & and some of the guys are gay.

If this is your situation – there is no point just resigning yourself to the situation – and staying in your comfort zone, you've got to be proactive, be bold, and go somewhere new. And put yourselves even more in situations where you are meeting men you like. You've got to get out there – leave your comfort zone – go to a dance class, go rock climbing, take up surfing, touch rugby – try things you are interested in where you will also meet men.

If you aren't meeting men you like in your current environment – how can you be bold, what new sports do you want to play? What hobbies can you explore? As one very successful woman I know says "life begins at the end of your comfort zone".


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